We all get certain traits from our parents. Some are great some not so much. There are physical and personality traits. For example a trait my mother gave me is that I'm great around children (most of the time). The trait I'm going to focus on though is something I gained from my father that I doubt he even knows he taught his children. Growing up I saw through my dad that it's not okay to be alone. If he was single he was depressed and not himself. Every time my sister and I came to visit he would have a new girlfriend. Sometimes certain girls would stick around for a while but in the end they usually left. After growing up and always seeing this I've found myself the same way. Being single has always caused me serious depression. I hate the feeling of being alone. Waking up without a good morning text.
When I worked at Long John Silvers the cooks and I always played a game when a couple would come in called "Reaching or Settling". Basically was the girl too good looking for the guy or was he better looking. When I have been single for a while I always end up settling. That never lasts long. Other times I feel like I am reaching. When I feel that way I am always paranoid that I will end up single soon because that person will realize they are settling for me. There's been one time where I felt like we both were in the middle, but in that relationship I was physically and mentally abused. I stayed though. I was scared of being alone. I was scared of being single and having to settle or feel like I was reaching.
Why do people do this? Why does it have to be that someone is reaching or settling? Why can't it just be that they love each other looks aside? That they don't care what other people think about their relationship. People shouldn't be afraid to lose someone that is better looking. As well as why be afraid to be alone? In all honesty even though I was single I have never been alone. I have had my friends and my family. I'm done wanting to be in relationships just to feel loved. I have always been loved I just haven't always seen it.
you are so lucky to have learned that at a young age, I would like for you also to know that it is possible to be single and on your own without being lonely, but not for long periods of time. I am a lot like your dad in that I too tend to get depressed the longer I am alone, but I find I get equally depressed when I am in a toxic or not right relationship. you must find that healthy balance of loving and enjoying yourself enough that other will see it and then want to be with you, that is when you will truly find your long lasting lifetime love, she is out there and when you are both ready, you will meet. until then take the love you have all around you and bathe in it while you learn how to love being with yourself and not needing someone else. You are an amazing woman, you will always have people who love yo to turn to if things get to bad. I know your perfect girl is out there and she will find you when she and you are both ready.
ReplyDelete