Pennsylvania VS Kansas

If you are from Kansas and have ever left the state I'm willing to bet someone has said to you "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!" Which when said enough times can be extremely annoying. Here in PA I found myself thinking it. First of all do not ask for pop. You'll get a funny look. Or even better do not even think about talking about the classic and beloved game corn hole. You'll get even funnier looks and after explaining end up having to talk about this game they have created called "baggos". I guess it's new cause I've never heard of it! Kansas, sweet, beautiful, golden, Kansas. It's very green here which is nice, but I think gold has a higher price on it. Plus we've got black gold in them fields (oil). In Kansas we have beautiful wild sunflowers growing all over. Here they have purple flowers. So I guess you could say the state of Pennsylvania knows the true meaning of EMAW! Go K-State! The people themselves probably don't know that though. I personally try to sport as much K-State clothes as possible. I am proud to show off the power cat, even though people assume it's a jacked up version of the Penn State logo. One nice thing about here though is if you wanna go to the beach you can easily spend your weekend at the shore. But on those nights there can you sit under a sky full of bright stars? Ad Astra Per Aspera. Pennsylvania is a beautiful state though it's just not Kansas, not home. There is something truly breath taking about the flint hills and how the golden waves seem to go on forever. So I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore y'all, but I will be someday.

Casanova

The past year and a half of my life has been full of a lot of changes and decisions. I graduated high school. Had a major surgery to remove my colon. Then another to put everything back together. I made the decision to officially leave my verbal and physically abusive relationship. I moved to MO with my grandparents while my family moved halfway across the country. Now I've moved halfway across the country to be with them. In the middle of all that chaos I got a little kitten which you've all seen due to my many pictures posted of him.

His name is Casanova and to many he is just a cat. To me he is a companion. When I adopted him I was going through a pretty dark time in my life. I had never felt so alone. Then all of a sudden there was something in my life that needed me. He was just a part of my life but I was his whole life and that effected me greatly. Now I wouldn't say he was the best when I was crying because all he wanted to do was play. Although by doing that he made me laugh. He is the only consistent thing in my life from this past year. Some people may think this is stupid but a cat saved my life. His love and companionship helped me through the roughest times in my life. It's felt like the past year has just flown by. Somehow on Monday he will actually be a year old which is just crazy to think about. There is something about a pets love that can be therapeutic. They don't know what's going on they just wanna play and cuddle. It's so simple for them. In that it makes problems seem simple I think. 

Children again but different

Lately I have been thinking about my future quite a bit. Up until this year if you had asked me if I wanted kids I would have told you no. I still don't know if I would want any or not but after being at the preschool it's something I have started to consider. I don't know why but this thought has consumed my mind. It makes me feel very sad though because the more I think about it the more I realize that I won't be able to have my own kids. Physically yes it should be possible but my body wouldn't be able to take it. It'd probably destroy it. Then I also think that I would never want to have a child of my own because then it would have my genes. I've seen the pain in my eyes when I am sick and I know the stress it causes her. I don't want to go through that myself and I don't want my children to have to go through what I have gone through. I have been so unlucky with my health and the thought of having a child go through that all makes me very upset. I would know that it was all my fault. 

After all of these thoughts though I have thought about adoption which I actually really love the idea of. I worry that if I had a child with my genes I would be knowingly risking my child for illnesses but if I was to adopt I would be changing a child's life and they would be changing mine. That thought makes me very happy. 

Invisible Illness

Chronic disease: A disease that persists for a long time. A chronic disease is one lasting 3 months or more, by the definition of the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics. Chronic diseases generally cannot be prevented by vaccines or cured by medication, nor do they just disappear.

At the age of 10 I was diagnosed with ulcerative proctitis. Then ulcerative colitis and then Crohns disease. These illnesses are among the many invisible illnesses. They make you feel so much pain and yet people can't physically see it. I don't know how many times I was told "But you don't look sick." People can't see the pain you are in except from seeing it in your eyes. For me there were times where people didn't believe my pain. 

Sometimes your friends and family feel helpless because they don’t know what to do to help you in your times of pain. At least for me the best thing you can do is believe them and comfort them. You can’t make the pain go away but you can make them feel less alone. Feeling lonely makes everything so much worse and knowing you have at least one person on your side at all times is a great feeling. Another thing you can do is educate yourself on the illness so you can understand what the person is going through. Lay in bed with them and watch Netflix. Just don’t let them feel alone. 

With any disease it’s easy to put yourself into a slump and think negatively. It’s not easy to be strong when your body is being so weak. Like I have said in the past I try so hard to be strong but inside I’m a wreck. Let your family and friends support you because you gain strength from them. When you are so sick one of the best remedies for your mental health is to try to be as strong and as positive as you can. When you can’t be strong let others be strong for you. That’s one of the greatest lessons I've learned.

Shark Week

Every year more and more people tune into Discovery Channels “Shark Week”. Everyone becomes a shark fan/expert for one week out of the year. I used to also love shark week and I still will watch bits and pieces of it but my view on it has completely changed. Have you ever seen the movie “Step Brothers”? There is a part where they are watching Shark Week and they say “Look at that raw power!”. Which is true, sharks are very powerful. Unfortunately Shark Week has started to make the whole week be about shark attacks. Where that is cool for one week it teaches people fear for the rest of the year.

I have always said that people fear the things they don’t know much about. Shark week needs to start educating people rather than causing them fear. Shark populations have dropped dramatically due to shark finning. Scientist worry that sharks will all be gone eventually and that will cause a disaster. Not only do sharks keep other animals populations down they also have a very unique immune system. Scientists are currently working on a cancer cure from what they are learning from the sharks body. If all of the sharks disappear though how will they be able to find a cure with that? I feel like shark week should show the sad facts about shark finning. Shark fin is cooked into soup in Asian countries as a delicacy although the funny part about that is that shark fin has no flavor it tastes like only the seasonings and broths used. 

Sharks are so misunderstood. Sharks don’t like how people taste but we can look like their food and that causes attacks. They have to rely on their extra senses because their eyes are so bad. Unfortunately for us we give off the same electromagnetic fields that fish do so sharks don’t even know the difference until they take that first bite. 

Growing up we are taught to fear sharks. My favorite bite comparison is “Alone in New York people are bitten 10 times more each year by other people than worldwide by sharks.”. People are more dangerous than a shark is. I used to be terrified of sharks myself but I educated myself about them and after that I’ve come to understand them. The more I learn the more I love them and want to save them. So this year during Shark Week please keep in mind that all of these attacks they show are not common occurrences. Also remember that they do have a lot of power and they need to be respected when you are in their territory. Finally learn from them. They have to keep moving to be able to survive so keep moving forward yourself and keep moving forward even when you’ve reached your goals. 

Children

Recently I have began going with my mom to her work at a preschool. To get there on time we have to leave by 6:45 am. Something to know about me is that I hate waking up early. Since I have been going though I've noticed that waking up super early doesn't really bother me because I know that as soon as I get there I have kids waiting there to see me. There's nothing better than getting there and being hugged by the sweetest kids in the world. You could be having a rough day but those kids always make you smile. 

My mom is a teacher and my big sister is going to school to be one. My mom constantly tells me that I should be a teacher as well. In high school I would go to elementary schools and teach kids about animals. I spent the past year being a swim teacher. I'll admit that my dreams go a little bit further than wanting to be just a teacher but I think it would be amazing to teach kids about the things I love. I've already started telling the kids at the preschool random facts about sharks and they think I'm the coolest person ever for it.

Kids just are able to make you feel so much better. They make you feel good about yourself. If you know a fun fact you are basically the coolest person ever. They just want to be around you which makes me happy. Who knows if I'll ever have kids but I do know that in my future I want to work with them in some way.