Breaking down walls

When I started my blog I had no idea where I would go with it. What I would write in it or even if people would like it, since I started it though I have been overwhelmed with love and support from friends and family all around the world. Every day since I started though I have gone to look at how many people have looked at my blog and I share this information with my great grandma and my great dot. My great grandma is very confused about it all though because to her it is magic. The more it grows the more I feel like I am able to start breaking down my walls that I have built. I have lived with my great grandma and great aunt since around February. I am 19, my gram is 89, and my aunt is 55. Since I have lived here I have confided in them everything in my life. They are my best friends. The age difference is huge but we take care of each other. Before my blog, before I was sharing my feelings and breaking down my walls publicly they were helping me break down my walls. So here is me breaking down more walls of mine. After being so hurt in my past relationship I had many fears. My first one was I didn’t think I would ever be able to trust anyone ever again. I was scared that if I was in a relationship again with someone that the fear of being lied to would overcome me. In that relationship I pushed away my friends and my family. She used this to her advantage by putting me down and hurting me emotionally because she knew that I didn’t have anyone else but her to cry to. A good friend of mine, Robert, who I have known for a while, told me today about something called the onion theory. He first explained it to me and I had no idea what any of it meant. So he tried explaining again by saying this “So to be able to become a part of intimate relationship you should break down your barriers...to break down you barriers between one and another you have to be able and willing to show you are vulnerable. If you show your vulnerable you will be able to show love toward one another it took me a while to understand this problem with my relationships.” I thought about this and decided I really like this theory and I agree with it.  To be in a relationship you have to put all of you out there. Let yourself be vulnerable because if you have walls up your partner and you can’t be truly one. I want true love and to gain it I need to be vulnerable. My walls are down from now on. Not just because it would be good for a relationship but because it would be good for life I believe. You can’t fully view the world from behind a wall and I want to be able to see it all. I know I already said thank you for the support on facebook but I want to say it again. Without everyone’s support I wouldn’t be able to break down these walls. Every single one of you is incredible. I love you all! Thank you!