Crushes. Sorta.

I don't know what anyone else's opinion about crushes is but I think they suck. Yes liking someone is a great feeling especially if they like you back but what if they don't? Or what if they don't realize you like them and you are just too scared to tell them? You sit there hoping that you'll get their attention and that they'll try to contact you first in the day and if they don't you are just let down. For the past few months every time I had a crush I would talk to my 89 year old great grandmother and 55 year old great aunt. They were lucky enough to hear all of my love life drama. Or lack there of. When I get a crush it's pretty hardcore. I don't let myself like someone though until I get to know them. So I get myself into these friendships with girls and then it hits me hard and all I want to do is talk to them. At first you know I want to play it cool if she contacts me then we'll talk. Then if she doesn't I start to panic. All I want to do is talk to her so eventually I give in and text her first. I am the worst when it comes to waiting. Pathetic? Yes probably. But the first step to getting over an "addiction" is admitting it right?

After being hurt in the past I have been more open to relationships than one would think. Going back to the whole not liking to be alone thing. But more recently I have let myself be more vulnerable. In the end I don't care if I may seem a bit pathetic because if I like a girl it's for a really good reason. Girls are just so difficult though. Love is so difficult. Why can't it be easy? All the best things in life are difficult. I don't make it any easier on myself though. I kinda just act like an idiot and hope the girl I like ends up liking me back. Oh well.